Time of Change
by wanderlustforthefond
Summary: One night when Bella's husband of two years  Edward  comes home drunk, Bella faces an event that haunts her still. The murder of her two year old Renesmee and the suicide of her husband. This is a story of Bella's recovery and starting fresh. AH
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

This is my first Fan fiction, I hope you enjoy it.

I'm not calling you a liar,  
>Just don't lie to me.<br>I'm not calling you a thief,  
>Just don't steal from me,<br>I'm not calling you a ghost,  
>Just stop haunting me,<br>And I love you so much,  
>I'm gonna let you,<br>Kill me.

Florence and the Machine -I'm Not Calling You a Liar

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><p>I woke up screaming again. Screaming and alone. My former husband Edward had brought me so much pain. The day he killed my Renesmee still plays in my head every time I close my eyes. He came home drunk. I was on our couch waiting for him with young Renesme in my arms – she was fast asleep. Edward took a couple steps in the door and just stared at me. He had something in his hand but, I wasn't sure what it was. "Edward, what is that?" He just had a small sad smile on his face. He slowly raised his hand revealing the gun in the faint light. I screamed trying to cover Renesmee but, I was too late. He shot her, then me. And then shot himself. The first bullet that he shot had gone in Renesmee's side. Piercing her lungs. Then shot he fired at me had skimmed my shoulder. Causing me to bleed. I looked down at Renesmee and saw her little face still sound, as if she was asleep. But her small body was covered in blood. She was only two. At the sight of her I passed out immediately. I woke up the next day in the hospital. Apparently one of our neighbours had called nine-one-one when they heard the gun shot.<p>

When I woke up I was greeted by familiar faces. Charlie was holding one hand, while Renee held the other. Alice sat at the end of the bed. The moment they realized I was awake Charlie called for Carlisle and Alice and Renee started to cry.

At first I thought I was just dreaming this all happened. How I wish it was all a dream.

Carlisle explained everything to me and said I would be out of the hospital in a week and I was more than welcome to stay at his house with Alice for the time after. I didn't, I returned back to the house Edward, Renesmee and I lived in.

To be honest I can't quite remember those weeks after the hospital. I just remember the nightmares and the crying. I roughly remember the funerals. I was a crying mess seeing my child and my husband buried.

I quit my job and have been in my house since. Alice comes once a week and stalks up my fridge and says hello. She quit attempting conversations. I just stayed silent.

I can't stay here anymore. I have to leave this house. It's going to kill me.

I got up from my bed went downstairs and called the person I know who would come here to get me and let me stay at their place. Charlie.

Ring, Ring, Ring,

Maybe he isn't home.

Ring, Ring, Ring,

I can call back in the morning, I guess.

Ring, Ring, "Hello?"

Oh I woke him up. Wait, what time is it anyway? I leaned to se the clock on the wall. Three- Thirty... Opps...

"Hello?" His voice rang out again. "Anyone there?" I took a big breath in. "Dad?" I said cautiously. "Bella? Is that you?" He said in surprise. "Um, yes... Dad i was wondering.." Oh god, how can I say this? "Can you come get me and let me live with you?" It came out in a rush. I wonder if he understood it. "Get you stuff ready, I'll be there in half an hour." He said quietly. "Thanks Dad. See you." The line went dead.

I pulled up a suitcase, packed my stuff up and then all I had left to do was wait.

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><p>I will update this soon. (With a longer chapter too.)<p>

Any critiques, suggestions, and corrections would be appreciated. :)


	2. Chapter 2

Back with Chapter 2!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

I'm staring out into the night,

Trying to hide the pain.

I'm going to the place where love

And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.

And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home,

Back to the place where I belong,

I'm Going Home - Chris Daughtry

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><p>I stood there in the night on my small porch. I loved this house. Esme had designed it and built it about half an hour away from forks. The house was small for a two story with stone on the outside. Though it was built so close to forks I rarely went there since moving here. It always resulted to people coming here.<p>

I never really had much use for going to forks anyway. my old job as a writer for the Port Angeles Standard entailed mostly working from home and going into the office once or twice a week. I simply got what I needed after work. I miss doing those things. I sighed quietly to myself.

A moment later I was being blinded by a bright set of headlights in the driveway. The car parked and Charlie came rushing out leaving the door to his cruiser open. He pulled me into a tight hug catching me slightly off guard. "Hey Dad." I whispered. "Hey Bells." he whispered back as he pulled away slightly. "Let's get going." He added. Charlie swooped down grabbing my bags and throwing them in the trunk of the cruiser.

I buckled my seat belt as Charlie slowly started to back up. As we started down the road it was nothing but silence as we went. "Dad?" I said almost mumbling. "Yeah?" He said curiously. "Thanks." I quietly added. "No problem kid." he said with a small smile on his face. I was desperate to make this silence end. "Dad?" "Yeah?" "How are you?"It dawned on me that we hadn't had a real conversation in months. "Tired you?" Of course he is tired it's almost four am. "Same." I replied hoping he would add something. He didn't though. He just sighed and kept driving. The silence returned. "Dad?" I really hope this isn't annoying him yet. "Yes Bells?" He huffed. Yep. Annoyed. "I missed you." I whispered to him. "I missed you too Bells." Silence. I decided to stop talking just to stop Charlie from getting really annoyed by me. The silence ate at me until we pulled up at my old house.

The house smelt of vanilla. I wonder if he had candles going or sprayed it with air freshener recently. "Bella, are you going to come upstairs?" Charlie asked me. I realized I was standing there at the door, like an idiot. I started to trudge up the stairs realizing how tired I was. Charlie opened my door and set my things down. "Night Bells." "Night Dad." he walked passed me and went to his room, as I stepped into mine. It looked as if I never left it. Charlie left me sheets and my comforter folded on my bed. After making my bed I curled up in my blanket.

Despite how tired I was sleep wasn't an option. I was too afraid of the nightmares and my mind was too active. Once the sun started to rise I dragged myself downstairs waltzing into the kitchen. To my surprise I walked into a room with eggs and bacon ready on a plate with a cup of coffee. I sat down not realizing Charlie was across from me until he let out a "Morning Bells." from behind his paper. "Morning. Did you make this?" I asked. Charlie wasn't really one to cook. Let alone breakfast. He always left for work early and would put something up on the way. Another question why wasn't he at work? "No," He said sheepishly. Interrupting my thoughts. "Then who did?" "Morning Bella!" a voice rang through the house. "Morning Sue!" I shouted. Should have known. Sue always is doing things for Charlie. They have been dating for a year or so now and Sue loves helping.

I turned my thoughts back to Charlie. "Aren't you supposed to be at work?" He shrugged . "I took the week off." I smiled. That's Charlie for you. Doesn't want me alone. Sue walked in the kitchen with a smile plastered on her face. I stuffed my face with the scrambled eggs on my plate. "Bella, are you coming to the bonfire at the Res tonight?" Sue asked cheerfully. I swallowed my eggs quickly and shook my head. "I would hate to impose." I said quietly Sue waved her hand at me and went to the sink to do some dishes. "Come on Bells," Charlie encouraged. "You would get to see Billy! You haven't seen him in ages." I smiled. I missed Billy I haven't talked to him in about two years. Which is once again ridiculous. "Oh, and you could see Seth. He misses you." Sue added. "I do miss that kid." I said smirking. "Not a kid anymore he is almost seventeen." Sue pointed out. Great, I feel old now. "So it's settled you're coming." Charlie stated while folding his news paper and standing. "I guess so." I said. He smiled and brought his plate to sue. "I'm going to call and tell Billy." He said walking to the phone. "No, don't." He looked at me curiously. "I want it to be a surprise." Charlie nodded and smiled. Truth be told I just didn't want people fussing over me. I know it will happen a little bit, but if it's announced I will be getting mauled.

After a while of chatting with Sue and Charlie (also after a second helping of breakfast.). I decided getting cleaned up would be a good idea. Also that way I wouldn't be rushing before leaving for La Push Beach for the night. After a nice warm shower I put on my usual jeans and a t-shirt with an old beat-up sweatshirt over top. I went down to the living room sitting on the couch next to Sue.

The afternoon passed fast and soon it was time for us to leave, back to good ol' La Push beach.

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><p><strong>I know it's not too much longer than the last chapter, but I got all excited about writing the next one! The next one will be up by the end of next week! GAH! I get so excited over the smallest things!<strong>

**Hope you enjoy the update. **

**Morgan 3**

**_Critiques, Suggestions and Corrections, welcome! :)_**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I"M BACK AGIAN WITH ANOTHER CHAPTER! XD

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Song:

God that was strange to see you again  
>Introduced by a friend of a friend<br>Smiled and said "Yes, I think we've met before"

Stars – Your Ex-lover is Dead

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><p>We pulled up to the beach in the cruiser. Man, I hate the back of this thing. Thank god I was getting out. Charlie opened the door for Sue and then opened the back door for me. I stumbled out of the cruiser, almost toppling over. You would think after Twenty years of life I would be a little more graceful. "Come on Bells!" Charlie said signalling me to catch up. I rushed towards him, being careful of my steps.<p>

As we neared the bonfire I started to see more and more people. "Billy!" Charlie shouted waving in the direction of a barbeque. I saw a movement that I presumed to be Billy waving back. "Go Bella." Charlie whispered. I started running towards the barbeque. I saw Billy sitting in his chair right beside it. Billy's facial features scrunched up. (Probably trying to figure out who was running at him like a maniac.) I supposed he figured out who I was because he went from confused to a huge smile.

Once I finally reached him I leaned over and gave him a big hug. "Hey Billy." I said breathlessly. "Hello Stranger!" He said happily. "Fancy seeing you here." I smirked. "I couldn't resist a chance at seeing you again." Billy let out a hearty laugh. I stood up as someone was approaching. "Bella!" The person yelled. No, it can't be? I stared in shock at the tall boy. "Seth?" I questioned. His face lit up as he stopped running. "Mom said you were here! I didn't believe her at first though." I starred at him He was tall! He was shorter than me last time I saw him. "God, you are tall." I stated. He chuckled. "Still not as tall as the rest of the La Push boys." He said while pointing to a group of boys..well they look more like men. From this distance they didn't look that tall. Seth pulled on my arm. "Come on Bella!" I started following him to the group of boys waving goodbye to Billy. A few in particular looked familiar, but I couldn't place them. As we drew closer they all started wolf whistling at Seth. "Oh, Seth's got a lady friend!" One shouted. I just blushed. "Oh, will you guys shut up for a minute before you scare her away!" Seth yelled turning back to wink at me.

We finally got to the group. I went from feeling short to an ant. These boys were huge! I looked up around the circle. All the boys were smiling and patting Seth on the back. "So, what's your name?" A particularly familiar boy said. I starred at him for a second. "Quil? Is that you?" The boy blinked for a second. "Bella?" A voice said on the other side of the circle. I looked at all the faces. "Jacob?"

Holy cow! That boy had changed. Last time I saw him he was Just above my height, kind of skinny. Now, he was at least six foot two! Also he had filled out a lot. He stood there in just swim trunks and needless to say, he was buff. "Holy shit Jake, what the hell happened to you?" He just laughed. "Grow spurt." He added still laughing. Another boy coughed. I looked over to where it came from. Another tall boy stood with a smile. "Come on, How about some sugar for Embry?" I laughed. "Oh, all right." I gave him a hug.

"Well, well, well, this must be the infamous Bella Swan." I looked towards the voice. A boy I didn't recognize walked up to me. "Sam Uley" He said while reaching out his hand. I shook it. "Infamous?"I asked raising an eyebrow. "I own the garage all these boys work at. Between Seth, Jacob , Billy and your Dad I've heard a lot." He laughed. I wasn't comforted by these words. It actually caused me to worry. "Please tell me they aren't all embarrassing?" I almost begged. The guys all laughed. "Not all of them." Sam said shrugging while holding back a laugh. I turned back to face the rest of the circle. All of them holding back laughs.

After they all stopped snickering I was introduced to the rest of the boys. I don't know why I was so at ease with these boys. I mean I was more comfortable around them then my dad. "Football anyone?" Seth offered. All the boys cheered. "Bella?" Seth asked. "No, not for me thanks. I'm clumsy and will just end up injured." Seth nodded. All the boys said bye and I decided to go for a walk along the beach.

"Hey Bella!" Jacob voice sounded from behind me. "Want some company?" He said running up beside me. "Yeah, sure." I said to him. "So, how have you been?" I asked. "Alright, I suppose. How about you? How's Edward and Renesmee?" My heart dropped at the sound of her name. I paused thinking of what to say, but all that came out were tear-filled sobs. "Oh no, Bella what's wrong?" He pulled me into a hug. Had Charlie not told Billy? Or did Billy not tell Jacob? Whatever it doesn't matter I just kept sobbing.

"Come on let's sit." Jacob said sitting on a log and pulling me down with him. My sobbing had slowed slightly. "It's...I..They." I sputtered out. "Shh, don't worry about it Bells." I relaxed in his arms. I sniffled. "But you should know." "I will, just not right now." He whispered still hugging me tight. I sniffled again. "Thanks Jake." I pulled back from his embrace and stood. "I'm sorry, I'm such a mess." He stood. "Don't be sorry Bells. It's not your fault." Another tear escaped my eye when I heard his words. He wiped it away softly, cupping the side of my face. "Let's go back to the bonfire." he said walking back towards the fire. "Thanks Jake." I whispered. "For what?" He responded. "For understanding."

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><p>Ou la la! What do you guys think?<p>

Love it, Hate it?

Next Chapter is already finished but I'm going to let you guys wait a bit. ;)

Also if you have a suggestion before I post it please tell!

ALSO: Shout out to those who have put TOC on alert and/or favourited. You, my lovely's' are kick ass. ROCK ON :) \m/

Critiques, Suggestions and Corrections are always welcome. :3

Have a great day/night!

Morgan!


	4. Chapter 4

Please don't hate me that this chapter isn't as long as the last one!

Day one becomes day two,  
>day three becomes day four,<br>it's not like anything has changed-  
>did you see me break down?<br>did anybody else?  
>now I'm working on my own defects<br>perfectly aware of my own defects.  
>And the promise that i couldn't keep<br>is breaking down the best of me.  
>I swear I'd give you everything<br>but that's not what you seem to need

The Shape of the Earth- My Defects

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><p>The bonfire started to die down and everyone started leaving. Sue and Charlie had already left. They asked Jacob to give me a ride home because they had gotten tired and wanted to head off. They dropped Billy off on their way. So it was just me and Jake in his little Rabbit. "Jake, I have a request." I said slowly. "What is it Bells?" He asked curiously. "Can we stop at your house for a second? I want to see it." I truly missed Jacob's house. I have such happy memories there. "Oh, sure." He responded quickly. We carried down the road a ways and pulled in at the Black's house.<p>

"Ta Da!" Jacob shouted! "The house of Black in all it's glory!" I laughed at Jacob's intro. I stepped out of the Rabbit just staring at the old red house with the woods in the background. I looked at the sky. Man, it was stars as far as I could see. "Beautiful." I whispered. "I know right?" Jacob agreed starring at the sky with me. I was surprised he was beside me I hadn't heard the car door or anything. We stood looking at the sky for a while in silence.

I decided now is as good as anytime to tell him. I took in a deep breath. "They died." I said loudly. "What?" Jacob asked. "Edward and Renesmee are dead." I said again, sighing afterwards.I realized how numb I sounded. "But how?" Jacob questioned shaking his head in disbelief. "Well, Edward came home drunk with a gun. Shot Renesmee, shot me and shot himself. Renesmee's lungs were pierced and Edward shot himself in the head. the bullet that was aimed at me skimmed my arm." I sniffled as a tear ran down my cheek. "Bella?" Jacob asked. I sniffled again. "I tried to save her! I really did. But I wasn't quick enough to cover her! It's my fault shes dead Jacob!" I shouted in anger. Jacob exhaled as if he was annoyed. "It is not your fault at all!" Jacob said as he punched the hood of the Rabbit. "It's not your fault Bella. Don't you ever say that again! It's Edward's fault. You can't blame yourself for this. Why would he even do such a thing?" Jacob Said screaming. I choked back a sob. Truth was Edward wasn't happy with me. He was forced by his parents to marry me out of high school because I got pregnant. That's why Renesmee was born only a month or so after our marriage. That's why we stayed together. But this is what I don't want Jacob knowing. I started sobbing uncontrollably again. Jacob hugged me. "Let's get you home Bella. It's Late." I sobbed again nodding. Jacob pulled me to the passenger side of the Rabbit opening the door and letting get in before closing it again. We started towards forks. I looked over at the man that had once been an annoyance to me. When I was seventeen and eighteen he would always tell me he loved me and follow me. Don't get me wrong Jacob and I were always friends. He always knew what to say and do. I really cared about him. But how does he know that? I'm just some bitch that dropped him and he still shows compassion.

I hadn't realized till Jacob said 'What?' that I had been gawking at him. "I missed you." I whispered. I did miss the kid even though I didn't show it too well. "I missed you too." He said. I starred at him in disbelief. He let out another 'What?' "Why would you miss me?" I asked "I'm an awful person." I added quietly. "Please Bella, if you were an awful person people wouldn't like you." His words did little to convince me. "Who would like being my friend? I'm a disaster." I sighed. "Not true. A little broken, but broken things can be fixed." he whispered. I smiled. "Why do you have such confidence in me?"

"Why wouldn't I have confidence in you?" He smiled brilliantly. I was dazzled by his smile. Man he had changed. I can't get over it. It was so drastic. "Jacob, I still don't understand how you changed so much." The smile was still plastered on his face while he shrugged. "People change Bella. I mean I wasn't going to be a little lanky kid forever." his smile widened more. I couldn't help but smile. He continued. Don't let the appearance fool you, I'm still the same goofy boy." I laughed. "I never was fooled." I added jokingly.

Ever so quickly we arrived at Charlie's. Jake being 'Oh, so kind' walked me to the door. I smiled and said goodbye but as I opened the door I noticed Charlie was sitting on the couch with Sue. "Bells get Jake before he leaves!" Charlie yelled. "I'm right here Charlie!" Jacob yelled back. Looking at with an arched eyebrow. "Oh, well you are staying over night! Billy doesn't want you driving home this late." Jake sighed."Charlie I'll be fine, it's not that late." He said glancing at the clock on the wall. "No nonsense, you're staying. Your father's orders." Sue said. Jacob just huffed a 'fine'. They started to carry out a conversation. As I stood there I realized how tired I was. Letting out a small yawn. "I'm going to bed!" I said as I started going up the stairs. "Bella, can you bring some sheets, a pillow and a blanket downstairs for Jake?" Sue asked. "Sure Sue." I said running to the linen closet, grabbing the blankets and pillows and running them downstairs. "Night again everyone!" I said going back upstairs. A series of 'Nights' came from the bottom of the stairs.

After changing into my sweats, I curled up in my blanket thinking of how different today was. A lot from my past had made re-appearances. I let out another yawn and finally decided to give into sleep.

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><p><strong>I thank a carton of whoppers and a Starbucks energy drink for this chapter.<strong>

**Suggestions, Correction, Critiques always welcome! :)**

**Next chapter soon, I promise!**

**Morgan :)**


	5. Chapter 5

I'm sorry this took so long to post! I had an exciting and busy week. But I present to you a new chapter!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight and all it's goodness.**

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><p>I awoke<br>Only to find my lungs empty  
>And through the night<br>So it seems I'm not breathing  
>And now my dreams are nothing like they were meant to be<br>And I'm breaking down, I think I'm breaking down

And I'm afraid  
>To sleep because of what haunts me<br>Such as living with the uncertainty  
>That I'll never find the words to say<br>Which would completely explain  
>Just how I'm breaking down<p>

Someone come and, someone come and save my life  
>Maybe I'll sleep when I am dead<br>But now it's like the night is taking sides  
>With all the worries that occupy the back of my mind<br>Could it be this misery will suffice?

I've become  
>A simple souvenir of someone's kill<br>And like the sea  
>I'm constantly changing from calm to ill<br>Madness fills my heart and soul as if the great divide could swallow me whole  
>oh, how I'm breaking down<p>

City and Colour – Sleeping Sickness

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><p>"Edward put down the gun!" He just laughed at my words. "Why would I do that?" He said stumbling a bit. "You're just drunk, you don't mean it." I whispered. "Bullshit!" He yelled. "This isn't what I wanted Bella, not for a minute." He just laughed again. He pointed the gun at Renesmee. "Edward don't!" the shot fired. I was too late again. Renesmee laid on the floor covered in blood. My body tensed. My breath quickened. I screamed at the top of my lungs.<p>

I was shaken awake by an concerned looking Jacob. I was sobbing uncontrollably as an upset Charlie and Sue walked in. "Why? Why does she die every time?" I cried. Jacob pulled me into an embrace rubbing my back. "It's alright, Bella. It will be okay. Just calm down." He whispered.

Charlie nodded at Jake while I still sobbed. Jake returned the nod and Sue and Charlie left the room. Jacob continued to stroke my back. I don't know how long we did this for. "Bella, you should go back to sleep." I nodded slowly still trying to control my sobs. As Jake let me go so I could lie down. He got up to leave. "Jake?"I said still sobbing. "Yeah Bells." His eyes looked pained. "Stay." I whispered. It was more a demand as per a question. He thought it over and nodded slowly. He came and laid down next to me. I couldn't be alone again right now. Or I would never get back to sleep. I whipped my cheeks so they were free of tears.

I leaned towards Jacob while putting his arms around me. I huddled in close basking in his warmth. The tears still stinging my eyes as he rubbed my back I soon was lulled back into sleep.

I woke up being shaken again. I had tears all down my cheeks. I leaned into a pair of warm arms again. "Morning Bells." He said in a whisper. "Morning Jacob." I said again tears still running down my face, still haunted by my past. "I'm sorry." I whispered. "I cried on you more than any human should." Jake chuckled at my statement. "There is nothing to be sorry for, I don't mind." He said smiling at me. "Now come on and go down stairs and I'll make some food." I nodded. Once in the kitchen Jake proceed to make pancakes.

"Where's Charlie and Sue?" I asked as he put a fluffy pancake on my plate. "They went out to Sue's. Gotta spend some time there." I nodded in agreement while pouring syrup all over my pancake, taking a giant bite. "So does that," Jacob said while pointing upstairs. "happen often?" I nodded "Every night." I whispered. "Awe Bells." He whispered sad. He put another pancake on my plate followed by his own. "Don't feel sorry for me." I whispered. I'm not one to take others pity and I refuse to take Jacob's at all. I stabbed a pancake. "I don't want pity." I stuff a hunk of it in my mouth. "I don't pity you Bella. I just hate seeing you in pain." His face contorted as if remembering my pain.

I stuffed the final piece of pancake in my mouth, chewing slowly and then swallowing. The only noise in the room was Jacob's eating and our slow breaths. I stood taking my plate to the sink, rinsing it off then placing it in a pile of yet to be washed dishes. Shortly after Jake stood passing me his plate, so I could place it in the sink. "What's on the agenda today?" I asked leaning my head up to look at him. He shrugged. "Whatever you want to do." He added.

How we ended up walking through the woods, I will never know. "Jacob, I don't think this is a good idea..." I said while watching my steps. "It'll be fine," He chuckled. "I promise to catch you if you fall, but only if you promise we can keep on this journey." I laughed. "I swear to god Jacob Black if you don't catch me I will be so angry." He smiled wider, never letting that brilliant smirk of his wash away. Happiness is so refreshing when you have been sad for awhile. To be honest I haven't smiled this much since Renesmee. I stopped in my tracks. Renesmee. All I could imagine was her adorable face cradled by delicate curls. It all went dark.

I groaned opening my eyes. The brightness pierced my eyes. I shifted to find my self held by strong arms. I shifted again. A groan escaped Jacob, as he stretched his arms above his head. He blinked a couple times, quickly turning to me. His eyes widened with concern. "Bella, are you alright?" I raised my brow curiously. "Bella, you passed out in the woods. I brought you home and was waiting for you to wake up. I must have fallen asleep." He smiled sheepishly. I blinked at him. I passed out? "What time is it?" I blurted out. Sitting up, looking around my room for those bright red numbers. "It's seven Bells." I turned back to Jacob. His eyes still wide with concern. I passed out. I thought again. I searched my head and body frantically for bumps or bruises. If I passed out I would have fallen. "Bells?" Jake interrupted my thoughts. "I caught you." I sighed in relief as he answered my question. "Come on Bella you probably are hungry." He said quietly. I nodded going to the kitchen.

"Pizza?" I asked quietly as Jacob followed me into the kitchen. "Pizza." Jake added in agreement.

Thirty minutes later I was sitting on the counter next to Jake, biting into the cheesy/greasy pizza leaving me sighing with contentment. Jake starred at me with a smirk, biting into his pizza. "I haven't had pizza in ages." I said, hoping it would make me look less ridiculous to him. It only made him bark out in laughter. "At least you are enjoying it." He said with a smile. I giggled at his comment. Yes I, Bella Swan, giggled. I looked up at his playful eyes. I searched them for a moment. All I found were the emotions I was terrified of when I was young. I saw all the care, kindness and love, that I saw in his eyes when we were kids. Truth be told. It still scared me shitless.

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><p><strong>I WILL UPDATE BY TUESDAY! THAT IS A PROMISE!<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

Alrighty, As promised a new chapter.

Hope you enjoy it.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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><p>You walk alone at night<br>With your hands kept at your side  
>You're smiling so polite, just waiting<br>For him to call your name  
>Catch up and meet your pace<br>I swear he'll play your games

And just this once you'll let him in  
>And just like that you'll push away again<p>

Don't lead him on  
>Cause he'd love you either way<br>He'd love you either way  
>Don't hide your face<br>Cause things will never change  
>Things will never change<br>But that doesn't make it okay

He'll talk alone this time  
>Stuttering with every try<br>Just waiting for her to speak  
>But there is truth behind that smile<br>Cause she's a damsel in denial  
>She isn't all what she seems<p>

And just this once she'll let him in  
>And just like that she'll break his heart again<p>

Don't lead him on  
>Cause he'd love you either way<br>He'd love you either way  
>Don't hide your face<br>Cause things will never change  
>Things will never change<br>But that doesn't make it okay  
>That doesn't make it okay...<p>

Morgan Laurence – Just this once

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><p>"Bella, what is it? You look scared." I blinked a couple times staring straight into Jacob's eyes still. I quickly tried to compose my face. "Nothing, I was just thinking." I said quietly, hopping off the counter and placing my dish in the sink. I have to get him out of here. I can't do this right now. "Jake, shouldn't you go to work?" He shook his head. "Sam said the garage could manage without me for a couple days." He stood up and put his plate in the sink. I took a step back. "Billy must be wondering where you are." I stated. He looked at me amused. "I called him. He knows I'm here." He said stepping towards me. He started to lean down towards me a bit. "Can we go see him?" I shouted cause him to lean back in shock. "Sure, I guess." He mumbled. "Alright, give me twenty minutes to get ready." I ran up the stairs quickly showering, getting dressed and putting my hair up. I ran downstairs to find Jacob standing by the door ready to go.<p>

"I don't know why you needed to see Billy tonight. We could have come tomorrow and you could have spent more time with him. He will probably go to bed in an hour or so, now." Jacob said, while closing the door of the Rabbit. "I don't need a reason to want to see Billy." I said in response. "It's true she doesn't." A voice shouted from the porch. "Hey Billy!" I said running up to him. "Long time, no see." Billy said motioning for a hug. I gave him a quick hug. I went to ask him how he was, but I was interrupted by a "Hey Dad." from an annoyed Jacob. "Come on in Bella, don't be shy." Billy said gesturing to the door. I stepped in. Absolutely nothing changed since the last time I was here. Same old beat up furniture. Same carpets. Same walls. "Have a seat Bella!" Billy said while rolling in the doorway. He was really cheery. I didn't understand why. I took a seat on the old couch. "Hungry?" Billy said arching his eyebrows. "No, we had pizza." I said. "Alright." Billy said, heading into the kitchen. I didn't notice Jacob in the room till he sat down beside me on the couch. I squirmed, knowing his burning gaze would be on me if I looked at him.

Billy rolled over to us with a bag of chips. "There isn't much on TV, but you can watch what you like." Billy said while passing the remote from a near by end table. "You can pick Billy, I really don't watch much TV." He shrugged parking his chair a couple feet away from the couch. He flipped through the channels ending on an old episode of family feud. We sat there in silence, the only noise being a crunch of the chips Billy was eating. As the show came to an end Billy let out a yawn. "Kids, I'm going to bed." He mumbled. "Nice seeing you Bella. Come by whenever you want." Billy added rolling out of the room and down the hallway.

I turned and looked at Jacob since we got here. I tried to avoid his gaze, but my eyes locked directly with his. My breathing hitched. A still silent Jacob could convey so much with his eyes. Jacob leaned forward slowly placing his lips on mine. His mouth was like fire on mine. It was a feeling I was completely unaware of. I realized I was sitting there like a dead fish not moving my lips. Completely in a haze. Something snapped in my brain. You are not ready for this Bella. My brain chanted. This only leads to pain. It only leads to unbearable things. I pulled back from Jacob. "I'm not ready." I gasped, standing up and running out the door. Air. Fresh air is what I need. I stopped at the tree line. Staring into the blackness of the woods. "Bells?" Jacob said from behind me. "Yeah." I whispered. "I'm sorry, I...I shouldn't have done that." I heard the raw emotion in his voice. I turned around to see Jacob five feet behind me with his eyes on his feet. Thank god. If those sad eyes were looking at me I think I would break. "It's alright." I breathed. "Home?" Jacob asked. "Home." I said in confirmation.

The short ride home was silent. The walking into the house was silent. Heading upstairs was silent. I walked into the bathroom, getting ready for bed. I walked into my room and laid down on my bed. Jacob stepped in my room. "I'm going to go home. Bye Bells." Jacob whispered, still with the sad tone in his voice. He started to walk out the door. "Jake?" I whispered. He turned to look at me. Our eyes locking again. The sad eyes starring at me in admiration, made my heart break. Without thinking I repeated the same word that I said last night. A word that could fuck up everything. A word that means everything has changed. "Stay."

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><p><strong>Critique, Suggest, Corrections. I welcome them all. :)<strong>

**I tried to put this up yesterday but It wouldn't upload :(**

**New Chapter Soon!**


	7. Chapter 7

I'm aware I suck. I have a valid excuse I promise! My computer completely fried! I lost all I had written and everything else! :(

No matter the chapter is now here!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Not one bit.

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><p>When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears<br>When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
>And I held your hand through all of these years<br>But you still have  
>All of me<p>

My Immortal - Evanescence

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><p>I woke up to the sound of people downstairs. Tangled in Jacob's arms, I tried to wiggle out of his embrace without disturbing him. His features became disgruntled as he held me tighter. "Jake," I squeaked. "I need you to let go." His eyes shot open and he let go immediately. "Sorry Bells." He whispered. I laughed. He looked like a scolded puppy. "I'm just going to see who is all downstairs." I stood up and headed towards the voices.<p>

"Morning Bella!" an anxious sounding Seth shouted. I was soon tackled with a hug. Followed by various yelling of mornings. Seth finally stopped suffocating me in his hug and back up a step. "Leah!" He shouted into the kitchen. "Yeah!" a female voice returned. "Come meet Bella!" Seth demanded. A tall girl with beautiful black hair came out of the kitchen. Her face was just like Sue's and her smile was a reflection of Seth's. She extended he hand. "I'm Leah, I've heard a lot about you."Her smile glowed. "Bella."I whispered back. I was incredibility intimidated by her. Sam stepped out of the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Leah's waist. "It's all set. All the boys are coming." He said to her. Leah smiled at Sam. "Sue! Charlie! Want to come to a barbeque at our place!" Leah shouted. "Oh, of course!" Sue responded. "I'm afraid I can't Leah!" Charlie shouted. "I have to go in to work tonight!" "It's ok Charlie!" Leah looked at me. "You are more than welcome to come Bella." a tired Jake descended down the stairs and stood beside me. "She would love to come." Jake answered running his fingers through his short hair and letting out a yawn. "Morning guys." He whispered with a lazy grin plastered on his face. I turned to look at Sam, Leah and Seth. They were all starring at Jake and I. Sue cut the silence. "What time will everyone be there?" She said from the kitchen. "Six." Sam said. "Actually we better go!" Leah said. "Seth want a ride?" Seth nodded. They all headed out the door yelling goodbyes. Jake leaned down to my ear. "I'm going to go home and get cleaned up meet you at Sam's and Leah's."

I ended up arriving with Sue. On the way there all she did was tell me about Leah and Sam's relationship. Something about a mix up with Leah's cousin came up. I really wasn't too interested. As I stepped in the door behind Sue, I took in the place. I was cozy, Lot's of wood furnishing. With a plead of help from Leah, Sue and I were in the kitchen helping make salad and get buns out.

"So Bella," Leah said while washing some lettuce. "How's your daughter?" I dropped the plates in my hands. "I'm sorry." I whispered, leaning over to pick up the broken dishes. "She's.." I went to say She's dead, but my heart snapped at even the thought of saying that right now. I have barely thought of her the past couple days. I saw her little face drained of colour. The blood on my hands. Tears started to sting my eyes. I ran out the door. I ran until I was lost. Lost and tired. I looked around. In the woods. That's where I am. Pull it together Bella! My breathing quickened I heard a scream I didn't realize it came from my own mouth. I fell to the ground tears on my cheeks. Thoughts of my daughter swirled in my mind. Her beautiful smile. Her curls. Her laugh. I forgot about her. How did I forget about her. I sobbed loudly. Curling into a ball. "Close your eyes Bella. Close your eyes." I whispered to myself. My eyes slowly shut.

I don't know how long I sat there sobbing. I don't remember it becoming night time. The only sound I heard was a faint shouting of my name. "Bella!" Someone is near. "Bella!" I heard their footsteps slow. Someone leaned over me. "Bella , open your eyes!" They shook my shoulders. Who was it? I opened my eyes to see a frantic Jacob over me. "Oh, thank god." He whispered. He pulled me into his arms. "I need to go home." I whispered. "I'll take you to Charlies soon." He whispered. "No," I said. "My house. I need to go home. I need to stay there. I need to be alone." Jacob's face became confused. "Bella. You are not staying by yourself." He stated. I saw the sadness glimmer in his dark eyes. "I'll stay with you if i have too. You are not going to be alone." He spoke with authority. It's was no use arguing with him. I'll just end up becoming more tired than I already am. I nodded. Without another word he lifted me up, walked me out of the woods and to the rabbit.

"I'm going to stop at my house to get some stuff. Do you want to stop at Charlie's to get your stuff?" I shook my head. I have clothes at home.

I stepped in the door of my house. The answering machine flashing. I walked over to the machine and pressed the button.

"You have one new message, message one:" The robotic voice said.

"_Hey Bella, It's Alice, I re-stalked your fridge and you weren't home."_

She sounded surprised.

"_Anyway, I'll call you soon, Bye."_

I huffed.

"Where too?" Jake said with all his bags in his hands. "Up and to the left." I gestured to the stairs. He nodded and went up. I groggily followed him.

I sat on the edge of the bed starring at the wall. "Are you going to change?" Jacob asked. I nodded mechanically as I got up and grabbed a pair of sweats and a t-shirt to change into.

I laid on my side starring at the pictures on my wall. I felt Jacobs arms secure around me. "It will be okay." He whispered.

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><p>Update by next week! I promise!<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry about being late on this, but I had no idea how much trouble I would have writing this chapter!**

**By the way I got a beta! Thanks to Re-writtenGenius! Love you!**

**On with the show!**

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><p>When you try your best but you don't succeed<br>When you get what you want but not what you need  
>When you feel so tired but you can't sleep<br>Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face  
>When you lose something you can't replace<br>When you love someone but it goes to waste  
>Could it be worse?<p>

Lights will guide you home  
>And ignite your bones<br>And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below  
>When you're too in love to let it go<br>But if you never try you'll never know  
>Just what you're worth<p>

Lights will guide you home  
>And ignite your bones<br>And I will try to fix you

Fix you - Coldplay

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><p>"Bella! Bella wake up!"<p>

I opened my eyes slowly. I didn t even remember falling asleep. I looked up at Jacob. He was starring at me with sad eyes. "Bella, you were screaming." I frowned. Of course I had a nightmare again, I'm back here. I looked past Jacob at the wall.

After some shuffling around I was finally on my feet. I started walking. I have no clue where, it's like my legs were controlling themselves. I starred at the ground until I came to the realization that I had stopped. I looked up, starring directly at the closed door. I had done this many times before. I hadn't entered Renesmee's room since her death. It just brings back too many memories and pain. I collapsed on the ground and let out a sob. Jacob's warm arms wrapped around me. "I want to go in." I whispered to Jacob. He lifted me to my feet. "Bella are you sure? Isn't that Nessie's room?" Jacob said with concern written across his face. I nodded. I turned and lightly pushed on the door.

Immediately, images of Renesmee filled my mind. I stepped into the room and looked around. It smelt of dust. The room had an almost grey tint to it's light pink atmosphere. I could see Renesmee's small figure dancing about the room. A small sob escaped my throat. Jacob stepped in a grabbed my hand. "I miss her." I sobbed. Jacob pulled me into his chest, holding me tight. "It will be okay." He quoted again from the previous night. I sobbed again. "Tell me about her?" He asked quietly. I looked up into his dark eyes. He (genuinely?) wanted to know. I pulled him out of the room and down stairs. Plopping down on the couch and pulling a remote out from the coffee table. Jake huddled in beside me as I popped in a DVD. I pressed play on the remote. The screen flashed on.

"Mommy, is it on?" Renesmee cheered, jumping up and down in front of the camera. "Yes, yes it is! Come on, do it again!" As soon as those words left my mouth Renesmee started spinning and dancing around. Her small curls whirling around as she continued to spin. "Oops!" Renesmee exclaimed as she fell on her butt. She started laughing and rolling around on the ground. "Nessie! Stop doing that your grandparents are coming over!" Edward yelled. I cringed. "Edward, let her be. She's just having fun." I said. "Come on, keep going Renesmee!" I cheered. She started laughing and rolling again. "Renesmee, stop that right now! Bella, you shouldn't be encouraging this kind of behaviour." Edward scolded.

The video stopped. I didn't realize I was huddled into Jake's chest. "It's all right Bells." Jake whispered, while playing with my hair. I hadn't noticed the tears on my cheek either. "She was beautiful, wasn't she?" I said starring at the screen. I could feel Jake nodding. "She looked a lot like you." He whispered. I shook my head. "She looked like him." I whispered. "Hair colour, face shape, cheekbones..." I dragged on. "But she has your curls, eyes and smile." He added, with a wide grin. I couldn't help but smile at his goofy grin. "How do you do that?" I asked. Jacob's features scrunched up in confusion. "Do what?" "Make me - no matter the state- smile." He shrugged, a shit eating grin on his face. "I don't know. I like to see you smile." My face began to hurt from smiling. I looked down fiddling with the remote in my hands. "You're like my own sun." I whispered, almost silently. "What was that?" Jake whispered. I looked up at him. His warm breath was hitting my face. His eyes burning into me. He leaned forward lightly pressing his lips to mine. His hands weaved into my hair and my hand rested on his chest. The kiss began to deepen when there was a knock at the door. I pulled back with a deep breath and ran to get the door.

I pulled it open. "Bella! Where have you been?" Alice shouted, almost jumping at me for a hug. "Were you at Charlie's? Work? Travelling?" "Jeez Alice, breathe. I was at Charlie's." Alice started clapping and jumping up and down. "Alright, now let me through. I have groceries!" I backed up and let her in. As she stepped into the kitchen she let out a shriek. "BELLA THERE IS A MAN IN HERE!"She shouted. Jake must have gone into the kitchen. I zoned back into Alice holding a knife, pointing it at Jacob, screaming bloody murder. Jake had his hands up in defence, saying something about being allowed here, which Alice completely ignored. "Alice." I said sternly. She continued to scream at Jake. "DAMN IT ALICE, STOP IT!" I hollered. The knife fell from her hand and she looked at me curiously. "This is Jake. Jake, Alice." I motioned back and forth between them. Alice blushed a bit, and mumbled an apology while shaking Jake's hand. "I'm going to go upstairs." Jake mumbled. Letting go of Alice's hand, he pecked me on the cheek and rushed upstairs. "Since when does Bella Swan have boys over?" Alice asked with a flirty wink while dropping things off in the fridge.

"So,"Alice continued. "When, where, how did you meet? Why is he here?" Alice poured a cup of coffee, sliding it to me. "Kids, Forks, dad's and that's a long story." I sipped my coffee slowly, "I have time!" Alice was sitting at the table while I leaned on the counter. I huffed in frustration. "He makes me feel better." "YOU DIDN'T!" Alice said a little too loudly, slamming her coffee on the table."Didn't what?" I raised an eyebrow. "Sleep with him!" She whispered. "Oh god no!" "Good, I was going to smack some sense into that dog if you had." "Thanks for the warning." Jake said with a wink, walking back into the room. "Can you stop being super quiet? It's unnerving." Jake let out a laugh at my comment. "Well, I have to go to work!" Alice jumped up almost too quickly. "Love you Bella! Bye dog!" Alice laughed at her own remark as she ran out the door. "Is she always..." "So insane? Yes."

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><p><strong>Hope you like it! I'm going to try and get the next chapter done soon!<strong>

**Review pretty please?**

**Morgan :)**


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